Monday, July 25, 2011

High temp + humidity = sticky gross

One of the biggest adjustments to life in DC was the humidity.  As I stepped out of the Baltimore airport, it settled upon me with about as much welcome as a sodden black wool blanket in the middle of a desert.

Hold the phone, A, you say.  (I envision you saying this in a Shrek-like Irish accent.) You actually DID live in a desert. Jordan had to have been hotter than DC, right?

Well, yes. Yes it was.  But it was a DRY heat.  I never bothered with the whole Celsius-Fahrenheit conversion thingie, so I can’t quote you exact temperatures, but I am sure that Jordan had a dry heat.

 Here, the humidity gives the heat an extra set of boxing  gloves.  And maybe a few sharp rings underneath, with  a quick shot of steroids, just in case.  Make it really  hurt.  Actually, that’s too sudden an analogy – humidity  is like a huge boxer sitting on your chest, slowly  squeezing the breath out of your lungs.

Some say I exaggerate (it makes for better reading).  But I challenge you: come to DC this week.  A slow heat wave is crawling across the eastern United States, scaring people indoors and giving our AC units heart palpitations.

The forecast is for triple-digit temperatures, with scanty clouds and high humidity.  101 degrees, they say, but it feels like 115.  (115!!!)  That’s the new catch-phrase: “feels like.”  84 degrees; “feels like” 95.  101; “feels like” 115.  Gee, it’s warm; “feels like” death on a stick.

This is the image that Google gave me for
"death on a stick." Wanted to share. Smoking kills.

In short, this Friday will be really hot.

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