One of the biggest adjustments to life in DC was the humidity. As I stepped out of the Baltimore airport, it settled upon me with about as much welcome as a sodden black wool blanket in the middle of a desert.
Hold the phone, A, you say. (I envision you saying this in a Shrek-like Irish accent.) You actually DID live in a desert. Jordan had to have been hotter than DC, right?
Well, yes. Yes it was. But it was a DRY heat. I never bothered with the whole Celsius-Fahrenheit conversion thingie, so I can’t quote you exact temperatures, but I am sure that Jordan had a dry heat.
Here, the humidity gives the heat an extra set of boxing gloves. And maybe a few sharp rings underneath, with a quick shot of steroids, just in case. Make it really hurt. Actually, that’s too sudden an analogy – humidity is like a huge boxer sitting on your chest, slowly squeezing the breath out of your lungs.
Some say I exaggerate (it makes for better reading). But I challenge you: come to DC this week. A slow heat wave is crawling across the eastern United States, scaring people indoors and giving our AC units heart palpitations.
The forecast is for triple-digit temperatures, with scanty clouds and high humidity. 101 degrees, they say, but it feels like 115. (115!!!) That’s the new catch-phrase: “feels like.” 84 degrees; “feels like” 95. 101; “feels like” 115. Gee, it’s warm; “feels like” death on a stick.
In short, this Friday will be really hot.
“Feels like” GOODLORDGETMEOUTOFHERE.
Hold the phone, A, you say. (I envision you saying this in a Shrek-like Irish accent.) You actually DID live in a desert. Jordan had to have been hotter than DC, right?
Well, yes. Yes it was. But it was a DRY heat. I never bothered with the whole Celsius-Fahrenheit conversion thingie, so I can’t quote you exact temperatures, but I am sure that Jordan had a dry heat.
Here, the humidity gives the heat an extra set of boxing gloves. And maybe a few sharp rings underneath, with a quick shot of steroids, just in case. Make it really hurt. Actually, that’s too sudden an analogy – humidity is like a huge boxer sitting on your chest, slowly squeezing the breath out of your lungs.Some say I exaggerate (it makes for better reading). But I challenge you: come to DC this week. A slow heat wave is crawling across the eastern United States, scaring people indoors and giving our AC units heart palpitations.
The forecast is for triple-digit temperatures, with scanty clouds and high humidity. 101 degrees, they say, but it feels like 115. (115!!!) That’s the new catch-phrase: “feels like.” 84 degrees; “feels like” 95. 101; “feels like” 115. Gee, it’s warm; “feels like” death on a stick.
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| This is the image that Google gave me for "death on a stick." Wanted to share. Smoking kills. |
In short, this Friday will be really hot.
“Feels like” GOODLORDGETMEOUTOFHERE.
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