Thursday, February 28, 2013


So I went and read a bunch of other people's blogs over the past week, and I came to the conclusion that I will never write as deep or funny posts as some of them. In an attempt to make myself feel better, I thought I'd mess around with giving the blog a makeover. Like the rejected women of dating culture, I'd just go get my blog a new haircut or new gym membership and everything would be hunky-dory.

Big oops.

Kudos to women who got their new haircuts and loved them, but this is a bit of a hack-job. I was just browsing new templates, minding my own business, and saw something that looked like a "preview" button. Intriguing, I thought. I should just test this out.

Nope. One errant click of a mouse -- poof! Old style gone forever.

I had, like, 10 minutes to try and fix it yesterday, then I had to run out the door. Unfortunately I had to leave poor bloggie with its bangs all messed up, ends chopped unevenly. I've tried to restore some semblence of style (after blogger crashed no less than three times), but, um...well, it's not what I wanted.

Sigh. You'd think blogger would have some sort of list of your past templates or something. I think I saw a "download" button that would let you keep a local copy of it on your desktop? Whatever.

Part of the problem is I don't know what I want this space to look like. Suggestions? What makes a blog look professional, readable, and intuitive?

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


Okay. Hi Internet. Been awhile. How ya been? Cool.
You know what’s not cool? Job insecurity. Job insecurity during a recession (potentially The Recession?). I interned for a whole year after graduating – I scraped and clawed and brown-nosed my way to a steady paycheck, and no one’s taking that away from me. You’ll have to pry it from my white, lifeless fingers, and then you’ll have to sprint away because my zombie body will come to life and chase after you for it, arms outstretched, yelling, “My paycheck…my paycheck…” Maybe I’ll be one of those sexy zombies. They seem to have fun. They make movies n such.

(Do I have a flair for the dramatic? Just a tad. Ask my friends about it sometime.)


I’m not saying I’m in imminent danger of losing my job. *smoothes hair into place and pastes on confident smile* I’m just saying that my department is experiencing some changes in the next few months, and those months do contain the very, very small chance that I might get laid off. Needless to say, I’m dusting off my CV and doing some quiet searching for new opportunities.

But the idea of being thrown back into unemployment terrifies me.

Part of it would be great – sweatpants, mac n cheese, and sleeping in – but really. That’ll get old after, like, a day. Then I’ll be bored, miserable, and discouraged.*

For some reason I always figured that doing the intern/whatever job/60-hr week thing was a one-time thing, a pattern for a stage of life that would not need repeating. But I guess that’s no guarantee. If I lose my job and can’t find a replacement in time, I’m gonna HAVE to pick something else up. Girl’s gotta make rent.

This gives me a lot of compassion for workers in retail, restaurants, etc, even the people on the sidewalk with cardboard signs who we all rush past and avoid eye contact with – it’s so easy to let ourselves judge based on appearances. But really, we don’t know anything. Maybe s/he had a great job and got laid off. Maybe a family member had crazy health problems and s/he went into debt. Maybe s/he just likes working in a restaurant.

Point is, anything can happen to anybody.

You all know that Robert Frost poem? Two roads diverged in a yellow wood… Yeah, my high school had the last few lines of that poem painted on a stairwell wall. I stared at it every day as I trudged to Biology, honors English, and honors government (yeah, we didn’t have AP, podunk small town that we were). Sometimes the words annoyed me, but most days they simultaneously inspired and vindicated me in my nerd-dom: "Yeah! I’m just over here taking the road less traveled!"

I’ve thought about those lines a lot since I’ve moved to DC. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I/I took the one less traveled by/And that has made all the difference.

They still assuage my troubled soul at times, but ya know what? Here, let me put it in words from our dear Kid President: “Two roads diverged in the woods…and I took the road less traveled…and it hurt, man! Really bad! ROCKS! THORNS! And GLASS! Not cool, Robert Frost!”

Kid President "Robert Frost" T-Shirt
Available at

Yeeeaaaahhh, dear ole Robbie forgot to mention that part. Rocks n thorns n glass n stuff. That’s what this whole “road less traveled” things is all about, huh?

Awesome. Lemme grab my hiking boots.

*[Editor's note: when I zapped this post over to The Sis for editing, she said, "haha, everytime you talk about job uncertainty, unemployment, being bored, miserable, discouraged, i [want you to] insert 'ie: my sister' *sad, slightly hysterical lawls*" Reprinted w permission, cuz there are no sissy fights here.]

Monday, February 18, 2013

It's late, but this is the Valentine's Day rant.

I would just avoid this subject entirely, but I hate to pass up an opportunity to be sarcastic and annoying.

Ok, folks, Valentine's Day.

Can I just share a few things that make me want to barf? Also, can we pretend I posted this last Thursday? Don't run for the hills, this post isn't the ranting of a cynical single gal who is secretly (yet publicly) bitter about her singlehood -- although that would be funny, right? And not overdone at all.

No, these are the rantings of a very content single gal (who may hold just a tad of bitterness every now and then, whatevs whatevs shrug it off) who feels ambushed every year by overpriced flowers, insincere cards, and those boxes of chalky-tasting candy hearts. 

Ok, no. I shouldn't be angry at these inanimate objects. Chocolate is meant to be eaten, not hated on. Ya know what I'm really ambushed by? Two groups of people.

The first is predictable, and I'm sure y'all don't mean to do it. But really, all you couples: you are adorable. You are. I applaud your right to hold hands while waiting for a coffee at Starbucks, it's cute that you're taking your time (and space) strolling leisurely down Capitol Hill's uneven brick sidewalks, I don't even mind the public make-out-sessions while I'm jogging around the monuments. Go for it, ye snoggers!

HOWEVER. Just because Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrating love (I'll come back to that in a moment) doesn't mean that the normal rules governing public displays of affection have suddenly disappeared. What this means for you: I know you want to stand next to your honey on the bus, or the metro, but dude seriously it's rush-hour and I'm being crushed by a wall of frustrated commuters and can you please just budge up there a bit? You and your boo can stand apart for a few minutes. Also, the Metro is not an appropriate (or sanitary?) space for a make-out session.

Group 2. All the single ladies! AaaaAAAAlll the single ladies, put yo hands up! (My parents will not get that musical reference, I'll explain it later guys. Also, thanks for letting me tease you online. Again.)

Single ladies. Stop hating on love. It's annoying. I know your heart was broken by That Guy, but c'mon now. Don't try and ruin it for everyone else. And don't try to pull us neutrals into your hate-camp, drinking martinis at the bar and snapping your fingers for "Another round!" while you list off all the annoying things about couples. Yup, some of those things ARE annoying. But I don't see how getting publicly drunk and belligerent will help. (It's totally ok to do that with your gal pals at home, though! *cough cough* I've never done that.)

I guess that brings me to Group 3. Bonus!

Hey, Commercialization -- you suck. You've taken something really beautiful, rare, and life-changing and reduced it to red heart-shaped balloons, frilly lace, a box of plastic-y chocolates, and requisite roses. "Hey, I love you today. Because it's February 14." What about all those OTHER days of the year? Isn't it just as important to love me on October 22? Feb 14 is a holiday that marketing companies have discovered they can use to guilt people into demonstrating affection -- and if someone forgets *ahem, guys* then BAM. You must not love me. And now I'm gonna be angry because you've forgotten it's Arbitrary Affection Day, and you're gonna be angry that I've forgotten all those other times you brought me flowers "just because."

Yup. Sure makes sense.

Furthermore, there are so many kinds of love. Feb 14 only showcases the soppy, happily-ever-after kind. What about sacrifical love? Or sisterly love? Or parental love? My parents have never failed to send me flowers on Valentine's Day, no matter where in the world I am.  But you don't see commercials encouraging you to tell your best friend how much you appreciate her.

Wanna read another excellent blog on this last point? Check it out: Love is Not Pretty, and It is Not Pink. Good read.

Ok, I think my rant is over for now. Cuz I'm tired and, ya know, there are fresh cookies in the kitchen.