No, really. This blog post has taken literally days to formulate. I’m so lazy right now. Instead of attending to that pesky reaction paper, I would rather sit on my bed and stare at the calendar on my computer, slowly watch time slip away as I quietly zone out. Ohmygoodgollygracious, I think dazedly, I think I’m going to graduate.
I’ll glance at the clock, desperately hoping one of my housemates will call up the stairs and rescue me from academic prison.
This is a new trend for me; I used to be a good student. I did my assignments ahead of schedule and had plenty of time left over for other interests. Reaction papers were minor annoyances in life, took me only a few minutes to BS. But now I struggle to find creative ways of saying, “This was a great event/class/speaker and I am a more complete person for attending.” Why can’t I just say, “This was a great event/class/speaker and I am a more complete person for attending.” Seems straightforward enough to me, but somehow my professors still think it’s insufficient.
Occasionally I will go to the library and schlep all my books and bags up to the fourth floor, wrap myself in isolation and try to block out all external stimuli. I will be productive. I will be efficient! I will get work done! Yeah! Boo yah! I just need *one* good party song to get me pumped up…and after 20 minutes of my own private dance-party-in-a-chair (thank heavens the fourth floor is usually deserted) I realize that I have done nothing.
Bad Self, I mentally slap myself. Back to work.
I change the music to something more soothing, a nice piano mix on Pandora, and immerse myself in paper-writing.
Then the sun peeks through the window. And it’s so warm. And I’m so sleepy. And the chair I’m sitting in isn’t particularly comfortable, but the one over there is a recliner-type chair…maybe just a quick break. When I wake up with a snort a half hour later, I scold myself again. Really bad Self.
Settling back into work, I’ll re-write my goal list, crossing out the things I know I won’t get to:
- edit Courtney's paper
plan IR slides
- read poems
- blogs (2)
APP STUFF VWS response
At this point, I have accepted my sharp decline in efficiency. Rather than crank through dozens of mundane reaction papers, I would rather hang with friends and bake cake at 1 am, or drink wine and cluster in front of the TV to watch Jeopardy!
I know I’ll graduate. I don’t know when I’ll next spend time with the people who have become my college family. So…it’s not actually laziness. It’s re-prioritizing.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it.